Month: March 2018

Winnie the Who?

My friend Stephanie from high school went to college in another state. Before she left, we were talking and somehow got on the subject of Winnie the Pooh stories. She revealed, “I don’t like Christopher Robin.” “Why not?” In my recollection, he had never done anything polarizing. “He’s a putz.” I had never heard anyone use the term putz as a noun, so I didn’t realize she meant “He’s a doofus.” I had heard the term “putzing around,” so I figured she meant that he was a slowpoke. Defensively, I exclaimed, “He had these leg problems!!” She didn’t know what I was talking about, so I explained that he wore leg braces. Well, after she went away to school, I looked through the books and found that I had remembered it wrong; one story mentioned him wearing a back brace. I didn’t bother to mention my discovery. When Steph came back to visit, she showed me photos from her semester, including a Halloween party she had attended. She handed me a photo of a guy wearing walking shorts and a sweater, holding a helium balloon. “What are you supposed to be?” She’d asked him. Wouldn’t you know it? “Christopher Robin from Winnie the Pooh.” She told me that she asked him, “Aren’t you supposed to have these leg problems?”

Whoops! Sorry, Steph!

Haven’t We Met Before?

I’ve never been out in public, seen another person, and felt like I was looking in the mirror. However, I can’t count the number of times people have said things to me like, “You look so familiar,” “You look just like someone I went to high school with,” “You look like someone I used to work with,” “Are you a professor? You look like a professor I’ve seen” [I’ve never been a professor], “You’re Amber’s older sister, right?” [I don’t have a sister], “Did you used to work out at Gold’s Gym?” [I didn’t used to work out at any gym], and even “How’s the pregnancy going?” [I wasn’t pregnant, and I don’t think I looked pregnant!]

A man staying in the same hostel told me with a heavy accent that there’s a woman in Germany who looks like me. “Her name is Anna.” It’s gone global!  

When a cashier guessed, “Jennifer?” then told me, “Oh, you look like this lady that works at Dollar General,” I was tempted to drive to Dollar General and ask for Jennifer, just to see what she looked like.

I’ve had the same mind-boggling conversation with a few business owners. It goes something like this:
“Weren’t you in here last week?”
“No, I’ve never been here before.”
“Are you sure? You look familiar.”
“This is my first trip to _______ [name of town or state]. I just got in last night.”
After a moment of reflection, they’ll decide, “I’m sure it was you. I recognize you.”
How can I prove that I wasn’t there?

The strangest occurrence happened when I was working in the Registration office of my community college. A woman came to my station and told me right away, “Oh my God! You look just like my sister-in-law, Linda, who died!” What do you say to that? During the transaction, she kept making comments about it. “Oh my god- you look so much like Linda.” Near the end, she whipped out her phone and took a picture of me, then texted it to her daughter with the message, “Who does this look like?” A minute later, she showed me the screen with her daughter’s reply: “Aunt Linda.”   

I got to thinking about my doppelgangers today. They must be decent people. I’ve never had anyone turn angry when they thought they recognized me. In fact, I seem to get asked a lot in public, “Excuse me- will you take our picture?” The other replicas of me out there must not be camera thieves, either. To all the people running around who look just like me: Before you do anything crazy, keep in mind that it isn’t only your reputation on the line- it’s mine, too! And I’ll think of you.