When I was a teenager, I watched the movie My Own Private Idaho several times. [It’s not for everyone.] I had a little crush on River Phoenix. About ten years later, I was living in Portland, Oregon, where parts of the movie had been filmed. I lived about a block away from two different movie theatres. Gus Van Sant, a Portland resident and the director of My Own Private Idaho, was releasing a new film. To celebrate, several theatres around the city were holding special showings of his earlier works. One of the theatres right near me was going to show My Own Private Idaho. I decided to go, partly for nostalgia, partly to see what I thought of the movie now that I was older, and partly to see if living in Portland would alter my perception of the story or the viewing experience.
The movie started, and River Phoenix was in the first scene. Horrified, I realized, Oh my God! Do you know who he looks like? He kind of looks like…my brother. Back in the day, I hadn’t noticed. But apart from the initial gross-out factor, this had an even bigger effect later.
In the movie, Keanu Reeves plays a young man from a rich family, while River Phoenix plays a homeless youth. The two are friends until Keanu Reeves returns to his roots. A scene near the end of the movie shows Keanu Reeves in an expensive suit, riding in the back of a limousine that is passing by River Phoenix, who is sleeping on a sidewalk. I recognized the sidewalk and the general area. I had gone to an employment center there when I was job hunting. It truly was the Bad Part of Town. The area had a sketchy vibe and reeked of urine. It’s a place I wouldn’t want to walk in after dark. So, being familiar with the area pictured in the scene, and River Phoenix looking like my brother, There was my brother sleeping on the street in the ghetto. It was really unsettling. It’s probably not an effect Gus Van Sant intended, and it’s not a reaction every viewer would experience.
For a while afterward, it made me more compassionate toward any down-and-out person I encountered on the street, thinking, That could be my brother.
Unfortunately, like so many other good intentions, the effect wore off with exposure and time.