I’m shocked by questions strangers ask. Point blank, “Are you traveling alone?”
“Who are you here with?” “Where are you staying?” “How long are you here?” “Where are you headed?” “What’s your ultimate destination?” “Where are you from? Where in Illinois?”
I’m sure that most people are asking innocently, just curious or starting a conversation. But I was alarmed by how many people didn’t seem to have the forethought to comprehend the situation. If they were a woman traveling alone, would they want to broadcast it to a stranger? Would they want to tell a strange man where they were staying? Where they live?
I quickly learned to give vague answers:
Where are you staying? “Nearby.” “In another town.”
Where are you headed? “South.”
How long are you here? “Not long.”
Of course, lying works, too. I used to think I was a bad liar, but I’ve been surprised at how quickly the lies gush out when my safety is at stake. I tell people that I still work at the last job I had. That I’m on vacation. I’m visiting a friend. Many times, I have been on my way to visit someone. I might not get there for another two weeks, but a stranger doesn’t need to know that. After telling people I was on vacation, a couple of them asked, “How long is your vacation?” What difference could that possibly make to them?!
If the questions get too personal, turn it back on the person who asked:
What city do you live in? “Why- are you gonna stop by?”
Where are you staying? “Why- are you planning on crashing my slumber party?’”
The truth is always an option. “I don’t know you well enough to divulge those details.”
This cover for my security comes with a price: what if I actually want to become friends with some of these people? I’ve just based our relationship on lies. How could they believe anything I say after they find out I made up all the answers to their questions? Fortunately or unfortunately, I think there is enough cause for concern in the world that people will understand.