Are you familiar with the newspaper The Onion? It’s basically the opposite of the National Inquirer. Instead of sensational headlines, the topics are mundane. Then a whole article is written about the subject or incident in the style of newspaper journalism.
As a writing exercise, try writing headlines in the style of The Onion. I did this exercise several years ago. Here were some that I came up with:
Giant Mastiff Slobbers Its Way into Owners’ Hearts
Birthday Clown Wolfs Down 3 Slices of Ice Cream Cake at Party
Woman Looks Horrible in Men’s XL Sports Jersey
Wax Museum Has Been Freaking Out Visitors for Over 25 Years
Lady With 19 Cats Grosses Out Neighbors
File Clerk’s Boss ‘The Biggest Jerk Ever’
Eco-Conscious Burlap Wedding Gown a Flop
Total Poseur Lands Mediocre Skateboarding Trick
Newly Diagnosed Cancer Patient Can’t Take a Joke
Birdcall Enthusiast Nerds Out in Chattahoochee National Forest
Man’s Self-Given Nickname Rejected by Friends and Coworkers
Manager’s Power Point Presentation a Snore
Woman Swears Voodoo Doll Not Representation of Mother-in-Law, Despite Distinct Identifying Characteristics
Hiker Disappointed He Didn’t Encounter Ghost in Haunted Forest
Best Friend Blabs Guarded Secrets to Mutual Acquaintances
Tourist Can’t Figure Out Why Tarot Card Reader Was Laughing So Hard
Non-Drinker Slams 2 Coke Zeroes After Mowing Lawn
Woman with Embarrassing Ringtone Heckled on City Bus
Prim Grandmother Drops the F-Bomb During Family Barbecue
Gator-on–a-Stick Tastes Like Chicken
Man in Bar Tries to Be Extra Funny to Distract from Bad Haircut
Restaurant Sued Over Insulting Fortune Cookie
8-Year-Old Tricks Younger Brother into Trading His Crummy Old Dime for a Shiny New Nickel
Coupon Clipper Can Fit 4 Weber Grills in the Back of Her Ford Explorer
Overworked Cashier Too Lazy to Change TV Channel on Day Off
Wet Blanket Peer Pressured into Toilet Papering Science Teacher’s Front Yard
Man Renting DVD from Redbox Looks Just Like Einstein
Admission of Imaginary Friend Causes Awkward Silence in Break Room
Mom Guilt Trips Teenage Son into Mopping Kitchen Floor on Saturday Afternoon
Bitter Neighbors Grudgingly Exchange Pleasantries While Getting the Mail
Office Worker Tortures Coworkers with Photos of Granddogs