Recently, I was shopping online for a poncho. I was looking for something to keep me warm when I sit at my desk, freezing. I couldn’t decide which poncho.
I’ve learned that if I’m having a hard time choosing, if I spend too much time deliberating and it starts to feel like I’m making way too big of a deal out of the topic, as if the spinning of the earth on its axis depends on which poncho I choose, it’s often because I’m asking the wrong question.
It’s time to step back and take a long view of the situation. In this case, I’d ask, Should I even wear a poncho? Maybe, instead of throwing another layer over the top, I should think about adding layers underneath. I remembered a set of long underwear packed away in the closet.
If you’re house hunting in Nashville and you can’t seem to commit to any of the houses you’ve toured, maybe you need to ask, Do I even want to live in Nashville? If two guys are vying for your attention and you can’t decide between them, maybe it’s because you’d be better off single. If you can’t choose a major, maybe pursuing a college degree isn’t in your best interest.
These wide-angle questions can reveal not only the source of the indecision, but sometimes a deeper truth. Then I can move forward with that new understanding. (Incidentally, asking these questions also saves a lot of money. How much of this stuff that we consider buying do we really need?)
Next time you’re having a hard time making a decision, give this technique a try and see if you learn anything profound.