Category: Random Stories & Tidbits

I’m fair-skinned. Although I freckle, I had so far never tanned between freckles. One summer in junior high, my friend Kristen and I decided to get me tan. I have no idea how the subject came up, who took charge of the plan, and I can’t explain why it seemed like a good idea. My guess is pure optimism. Just because it’s never happened in the past doesn’t mean that it can’t ever happen- right? I ignored that little voice inside reminding me, You’ve gotten sunburned in the shade.  

As far as I know, neither of us looked up directions on how to tan safely or consulted an expert on the most effective way to tan fair skin. I don’t know why I thought the results would be different from any other summer. We seemed to put our faith in tanning lotions.  

I had a subscription to Teen magazine, a magazine geared toward pre-teen girls, packed with ads for the latest beauty products. Kristen proposed going in on a product together and sharing the bottle. I agreed. That summer, some of the compelling new sun-related products included a clear serum with flecks of blue glitter, and sunblock in a range of colors, apparently to be applied to the face in the style of either warpaint or clown makeup. I just looked on the internet, and both of these products (the concepts, if not the original brands) are available for purchase right now. I don’t know if they’ve made a comeback or if they’ve stuck around this whole time.  

The product we ended up buying promised to expedite your tan. We both applied it on a trip to the lake with Kristen’s family. I can attest that the lotion did seem to accelerate the effect of the sun’s rays on the skin. I have never gotten such a horrible sunburn so fast. But that could easily be due to the fact that I lay in direct sun, and without coating myself in SPF 50 first- not my normal practice. 

That evening, my skin had developed into a shade pretty accurately described as “rose.” It was the kind of burn where it hurts to go to sleep, because it hurts to lay down and have your skin to press against anything, even a blanket. I don’t think I even took note of Kristen’s outcome with the tanning lotion because I was too focused on my own suffering.  

That was the first and last time I messed around with getting a tan. What is the lesson here? There’s a fine line between optimism and foolishness. The quietest voice-the one that only you can hear- is often the wisest voice in the room, and it would be wise to listen. Otherwise, you might get burned! 

When I worked in the grocery store flower shop, I would occasionally lend customers a bucket so they could more easily transport a vase of flowers in their car. I asked them to return the bucket the next time they came back. We had a tall stack of cheap buckets, so I didn’t keep track of how many I’d given out or who I’d given them to.  

A customer who I didn’t even remember returned a bucket one day and apologized for the delay. She said it took her so long to return it because she was staying with her best friend who had died a couple days earlier. They met in first grade and had been friends for 66 years! That sounds so rare nowadays. She told me how they were there for each other over the years and during each of their divorces. Her friend got cancer. After the customer left, I was thinking how that’s the kind of friend I want to have. Of course, that’s the also kind of friend I would have to BE. I don’t think I would qualify right now. 

My last post talked about celebrating both large and small milestones in the lives of your friends. I have to admit that, besides birthdays and holidays, I don’t know when any milestones or special occasions are coming up in other people’s lives, because I haven’t been keeping in touch with them often enough or having deep enough conversations to learn what’s happening and what’s important them.  

The good news is, we always have the option to course correct.  

Many years ago, when I heard a friend was getting surgery on a certain day, I mailed a card so it would arrive the afternoon of the surgery. She called later to thank me and sounded thrilled.  

Through the years, I’ve had ideas for other nice gestures- sending flowers to someone who just had a baby, mailing a silly dollar store toy to a friend who was feeling down, sending a card to mark the anniversary of a death, calling to congratulate someone on a milestone- but then I got tired or lazy or “busy” (but apparently not too busy to watch stand-up comedy on YouTube), and I didn’t execute the ideas.  

Sometimes I’m not aware of any recourse except my own guilty feelings. But other times, without knowing about my good intentions and lack of following through, the potential recipient may confide that they felt alone or stressed on the day that my good deed would have occurred. And then I kick myself because that small action could have made a real difference to them.  

I’ve learned that, if you have an idea to do something thoughtful for another person, it’s always worth the effort to do it. If nothing else, at least you know you did the best you could.  

What’s the point of having a great idea if you don’t act on it? What are we all here for together, if not to help each other along, to witnesses each other’s lives? To be cheerleaders for one another.  

While we’re at it, why wait until the huge, most socially accepted milestones? Why not celebrate every little stone? I think we could all benefit from a little more celebrating.  

I don’t want to discount anyone’s unpleasant experiences with the coronavirus.

But I think what happened in response to the 2020 lockdown is also inspiring. It’s exciting to see how people have gotten creative in adapting to the new circumstances by working remotely, meeting through Zoom, and attending drive-by parties. Some companies invented new business models in order to survive and are even more lucrative now than before the pandemic. I love that people are seeing the limitations of the situation as opportunities.  

It’s like when artists intentionally put constraints on their work to expose aspects that may not have emerged otherwise. Someone who normally works with bright, saturated colors may challenge themselves to make a piece using only black and white. The artist may discover that their work conveys power and strength, this time with bold lines, simple shapes, and high contrast. Color was an easy way to convey that drama, but now they are more aware of their message and a larger repertoire of techniques.  

I look at the quarantine as an experiment. We’ve been given a chance to try living differently, to reinvent ourselves, to reevaluate our lifestyles, work, relationships, and culture. Once the virus is under control, should things go back to the way they were? Or would we be better off making some changes?  

I’m always thankful for new awareness, so thank you, 2020. I hope it colors our lives.  

Try this recipe for success:  

Sprinkle your big goals and dreams in with your everyday to-do lists. I think it makes the ideas seem more obtainable and more integrated into your life, when “launch a satellite to Mars” and “open a bowling alley” are alongside of “take down storm windows” and “fill bike tires with air.” It’s just another project you’re going to work on this weekend.  

Even more effective, of course, is to dice the major goal into smaller tasks and add the smaller chunks to your to-do list. 

Add a dash of motivation, a dollop of determination, and blend.  

Season to taste. 

Enjoy!  

Recently, I was shopping online for a poncho. I was looking for something to keep me warm when I sit at my desk, freezing. I couldn’t decide which poncho. 

I’ve learned that if I’m having a hard time choosing, if I spend too much time deliberating and it starts to feel like I’m making way too big of a deal out of the topic, as if the spinning of the earth on its axis depends on which poncho I choose, it’s often because I’m asking the wrong question. 

It’s time to step back and take a long view of the situation. In this case, I’d ask, Should I even wear a poncho? Maybe, instead of throwing another layer over the top, I should think about adding layers underneath. I remembered a set of long underwear packed away in the closet.  

If you’re house hunting in Nashville and you can’t seem to commit to any of the houses you’ve toured, maybe you need to ask, Do I even want to live in Nashville? If two guys are vying for your attention and you can’t decide between them, maybe it’s because you’d be better off single. If you can’t choose a major, maybe pursuing a college degree isn’t in your best interest.

These wide-angle questions can reveal not only the source of the indecision, but sometimes a deeper truth. Then I can move forward with that new understanding. (Incidentally, asking these questions also saves a lot of money. How much of this stuff that we consider buying do we really need?)  

Next time you’re having a hard time making a decision, give this technique a try and see if you learn anything profound.  

I can tell I’m changing (again). My first thoughts, when I notice it happening, are sometimes judgmental. For example, I’ve recently become interested in gemstones. My reaction was, Why? I hardly ever wear jewelry. It seems unnecessary. And I’m not into sparkle- or, at least, I didn’t used to be. I tend to correlate flashy jewelry with conspicuous consumption and superficiality. How judgmental! Can’t it be that people just love beauty, and love adorning themselves with whatever beauty the earth supplies us with? That’s one good byproduct of changing: it makes you able to see multiple points of view. You can appreciate and understand others better because either you’ve been there or you’re standing alongside of them now.  

Lately, I’ve been attracted to the color purple. Even my taste buds are changing. I’ve gotten cravings for chocolate and other foods that, in the past, haven’t been my favorites. (Those are just a few frivolous examples. My outlook is changing, too.)

One big change that occurred several years ago has to do with crafts. From the time I was a kid, I liked making arts and crafts: rug making, quilting, origami, painting, drawing, sculpture, pottery, photography, sewing clothes, flower pounding, mosaics, embroidery, felting, knitting, dyeing fabric, beading, making greeting cards and envelopes, bookbinding, papier mache, collage, holiday crafts- the list goes on.  

At some point, though, in my twenties or thirties, making these items no longer felt fulfilling; it felt like a waste of time. I think I held onto the habit for a lot longer than I should have, assuming my boredom was for the specific craft I was involved in at the moment, or figuring that I was in a funk and my mood was to blame. I guess it was hard to drop what had been a part of my identity for so long.  

I wish I had gracefully- or excitedly- welcomed change. I don’t know why we’re here, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t to keep reliving the same chapter of our lives. We’ve gotta live the whole story.  

Periodically, something superficial starts to bother me, like I get sick of my clothing style, or angry about my crooked tooth, or I start considering what my hair would look like with purple streaks in it. From experience, I know it’s an indication that, ultimately, I’m dissatisfied with something more significant in my life. (When I’m in a good mood, feeling energetic, getting work done, when I feel like I’m doing what I was born to do, I hardly give a thought to my hair, what I’m wearing, or the state of my teeth.)  

What I learned was, the only way to relieve significant distress is to make a significant change- get a different job, move, associate with different people, deal with an issue you’ve been avoiding. Spend your time differently. Lead a different lifestyle. When you’re thirsty, getting a foot rub or hearing an epic song might be nice for a few minutes, but it’s not going to solve your problem. 

I realize that not everyone has the same reasons for performing the same action. But I have to admit that when I see someone with hair that’s a rainbow color, I do wonder, Are they just expressing their artistic side and having fun, or do they hate their life? The ones that especially worry me are the ones whose hair color changes drastically every couple weeks. Part of me wants to sit them down and explain that there is no hair dye in the world that can substitute for quitting your job or breaking up with your boyfriend. You gotta bite the bullet.