It’s All in the Details

It was election season. Sitting on top of a pile of papers to recycle was a letter from a politician, soliciting donations for their campaign. Various denominations were listed, along with ‘other’ next to a blank line. My brother had checked the ‘other’ box and had written ‘a million billion dollars’ on the line.   

That’s what I missed while on the road. When you talk on the phone every couple weeks (or months or years), people usually leave out these funny, everyday moments. They seem too small.  

But these moments help separate one day from the next. These lighthearted attitudes help get us through the day in a decent mood. They mean something.  

When you run into an old coworker or friend or classmate and they ask what you’ve been up to since they last saw you, it can feel like a pressure situation, like you need to say that you scaled Mt. Kilimanjaro, or won a Grammy, or that you cured Parkinson’s disease, or you opened your own successful five-star restaurant, when in reality, maybe you’re barely keeping it together, trying to wipe up the edges of the puddle before it spills off the counter and all over the floor. 

The next time someone asks you what’s new and you can’t think of a piece of major news, instead of saying ‘same ol’, same ol’,’ why not share a little anecdote? All they want is to connect with you. If you can make them laugh, even better.  

Fresh Cut Flower Care

If you receive fresh cut flowers, here are some tips on making them last and look fabulous:  
[This may be common knowledge or common sense, but I might as well share what I learned.]  

If you’ve gotten a bouquet without a container, you’ll want to remove any leaves (or buds or flowers) on the stems that will be under water once you fill the vase. Otherwise, any submerged foliage will rot, smell like sewage, and become a breeding ground for bacteria that will kill your flowers.  

If you get an arrangement in a shallow tray with the flowers stuck into a block of foam, you need to water the foam. Otherwise, it will quickly dry out (like a kitchen sponge) and the flowers will die.  

Use cool water for longer-lasting blooms. Warm water makes flowers open faster.  

Keep flowers away from heat sources. It dries them out and hastens their life cycle- and therefore, their demise.  

Keep flowers away from direct sunlight. To be dramatic, imagine a hair dryer pointed at your bouquet. If direct sunlight hits the vase, imagine your flowers bathing in a vaseful of boiling water.  

Every two to three days, change the water in your vase. Clean out the container. If you received a packet of flower food, add it to the fresh water.  

Whenever you change the water, re-cut the flower stems. Cut at an angle (for more surface area to suck up water, and to allow the stems access to water (so a horizontal cut doesn’t sit directly against a flat vase bottom)), removing at least a half an inch (and cut at least a half inch above any rotted sections). Now that the stems are shorter, remove any leaves that are now under water.  

You know the phrase ‘One bad apple spoils the bunch’? Well, they can spoil your flowers, too. Keep flowers away from fruit. Ripening fruit gives off ethylene gas, which accelerates the life cycle (and death) of flowers.  

Remove wilting, decaying, and spent flowers, leaves, and stems from the arrangement. They also give off ethylene (and look ugly). I’ve seen people toss out arrangements when a few of the flowers first start dying. If you pull out only the individual flowers that are going bad, you can keep the rest of the flowers around longer- sometimes another week (or more).  

The orange pollen from lilies stains, so be careful of brushing up against them. You probably don’t want to place a white tablecloth underneath the arrangement, either. To avoid dealing with the pollen, you can gently pick off the anther (the red part) from the filament (the little ‘stem’ that the red part sits on) when the flower first starts to open (before it has set out any pollen). If pollen does happen to get on any fabric, DON’T TOUCH IT! Cut a piece of tape and carefully stick the tape to the fabric (don’t press down) and then remove it. Keep doing this with a fresh length of tape for as long as the tape still picks up color. You might not get all the pollen off, but you’ll get most of it. If you were to touch it, the pollen would only smear, get smashed into the fibers, and create an even bigger mess than you started out with. 

A number of myths swarm around the care of cut flowers, such as placing a penny in the vase (does nothing) and pouring 7Up into the water (sugar breeds bacteria). The best treatment is simply fresh water.  

Most of all, no matter how long they last, no matter how well you do or don’t take care of them, enjoy your flowers!  

Tips from the Flower Shop

Over ten years ago, I worked in a flower shop. Maybe because Valentine’s Day is coming up, I found myself thinking about my time there, and I started listing suggestions, tidbits, and warnings that I’d give somebody who wanted to order flowers. It surprised me, how many I thought of, after all this time. Hopefully these insider tips will be of use to someone: 

Placing an Order 

I’m sure this makes me sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but, if possible, call from a land line. The reception is so much better. This comes from years of customer service experience. It’s much more pleasant doing business when both of you can understand what the other person is saying.  

Don’t order from wire services like FTD, 1-800-FLOWERS, or Teleflora. You may see their ads in magazines or online. What they do is take a cut of the money and then send the order to a flower shop for fulfillment. You’d be better off calling a flower shop directly- one that’s located in the area where you want the flowers delivered. Another reason ordering from wire services is a ripoff is that they send the local shop enough money to cover the cost of the arrangement, but not delivery. They tell shops to use all the money on flowers, but it’s common practice for shops to subtract the delivery charge, so don’t be surprised if the arrangement that arrives looks skimpier than the one in the picture. The only reason to order from a wire service is if you or another recipient collects the container that the arrangement comes in. (Some containers are designed by artists such as Thomas Kinkade, or feature popular cartoon characters. They cost roughly three times as much as a plain container, too.) You’d have to really like the container for it to be worth the price. Even then, for a better deal, you could call shops directly to see if they offer the specific Teleflora design you’re interested in.

You don’t need to know what kind of flowers to get! The safest thing to ask for is a “mixed bouquet,” “seasonal arrangement,” or “designer’s choice.” Leave it to the experts.  

You can also make general requests, like “bright and cheery” or “a sympathy bouquet,” to let the designer know what general mood to strive for and what colors to use. If you let the shop know that “her favorite color is purple,” or “her favorite flowers are daisies,” they can incorporate that into the arrangement.  

The shop may ask what kind of container you want the arrangement made in. If you don’t know or don’t care, get a vase. In my opinion, they are more reliably elegant and classic. A “table arrangement” is traditionally made by setting wet flower foam into a tray and sticking stems into the foam. It’s not my first choice because a.) this foam material is not eco-friendly, and b.) traditional trays are made of plastic and can look cheap. For a country look, you might opt for a wicker basket. These arrangements are normally constructed using flower foam.

Let the shop know if your recipient has allergies or is sensitive to strong scents. The shop will tailor a hypoallergenic arrangement.  

Besides cut flowers, many shops sell potted plants. My favorite item to put together was an English Garden, a mix of potted plants inside a basket. These ranged from two-inch indoor plants to gallon-sized bedding plants, in appropriately sized baskets. Spanish moss covered the dirt and hid the pots. Talk to your local shop about their selections. 

You can request gift shop items be added to an arrangement, such as a fake butterfly or dragonfly on a stick, a ceramic figurine, a small stuffed animal, balloons, and chocolates. A floral arrangement can also be made directly inside of a mug or other container. 

When I worked there, prices for arrangements started at $25. The minimum price for a large, impressive arrangement was $75. With grander flowers, or for a fuller arrangement, it would cost more like $100, $125 +. If you wanted the arrangement delivered [you had the choice of picking it up yourself], delivery would cost a minimum of an additional $7. (The price varied depending on the distance from the shop.) Pricing depends on the location and practices of the actual shop. In big cities, costs are higher. In the suburbs, my shop charged $60 for a dozen roses, but downtown Chicago might have been $75 or $90. (It’s insane.) Some tiny, rural towns didn’t charge extra for delivery.  

A typical arrangement will automatically include greens (usually at least leatherleaf fern) and filler flowers. Filler flowers tend to be airy, muIti-branched stems covered with tiny blooms. As their name suggests, they fill in space, bulking up the bouquet. Pricing for a dozen roses, for example, includes a vase, greens, and fillers– not just the roses.

Know how to spell the name of the person you’re sending flowers to. This is more to save you from embarrassment than anything else. One guy was ordering flowers for his mom for Mother’s Day. Nice. I asked him to spell his mom’s name [with so many unique spellings nowadays, I always double check], and HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL HIS MOM’S NAME. Her name was Debbie. [On a side note, the most confounding example of not knowing how to spell a name happened at the community college I worked at. When it was time for students to graduate, they had to fill out a form and print their name exactly as they wanted it to appear on their diploma, and lots of people included their middle names. One student didn’t even know how to spell HIS OWN MIDDLE NAME. He told me that his mom gave him some weird middle name from another country, and he had to call her to check on the spelling. I don’t care how foreign the word sounds- it’s YOUR OWN NAME! I still can’t believe it.]  

Know the address and phone number for where you want the flowers delivered, including addresses for businesses. Some companies have separate retail, corporate, and warehouse locations.  

If you’re ordering for a funeral, know the name of the person who died. Funeral homes may hold services for more than one person a day, and “Mary Brown’s mother-in-law” or “my co-worker’s grandma” probably isn’t specific enough for the flower shop or the funeral home to figure out which party the flowers are meant for.  

Similarly, if you’re sending flowers to a church, know the exact name of the church. You may know it as “St. Mary’s,” but there may be twelve churches in the area that could go by that nickname. Is it St. Mary Great Mother of God Catholic Church, Saint Mary Parish, or St. Mary Our Lady of the Lake? When asked where the funeral is being held, answering “It’s in the paper” is kind of a jerk move. They’re floral designers, not detectives. 

Think about what you want the card to say. A note will be included with your arrangement. The flower shop staff can offer generic suggestions if you’re at a loss for words. But if you want to send a more personal message, you might want to think about it before you’re put on the spot. Once, a woman was ordering sympathy flowers for a coworker. When it came time for the card, she kept sighing and going, “What do you say? I mean, what do you even say?” I offered, “Sorry for your loss?” “We’re not that close,” she snapped. Sometimes, you’re on your own.  

Shops will try and accommodate general delivery guidelines you specify, such as “before 10 a.m.” or “after 2 p.m.” If you call in the morning, or even early afternoon (say, by 2), you can generally get a same-day delivery. But if you call an hour before the store closes, don’t expect your order to be delivered that day. Delivery timing depends on how the specific store operates, how busy the place is, whether or not the drivers have already left for the day, and other factors. Talk to your local shop for more details.  

Flower Shop Info 

Usually, a shop displays pre-made bouquets and arrangements in a cooler. This is for your convenience, to pick an already-made bouquet and take it with you. Some customers would ask for a vase of flowers to be made just like the one in the cooler, but with “fresh” flowers. I can only speak for the one shop I worked in, but the flowers sitting in a vase in the front cooler came from the same batch as the flowers sitting in a bucket in our back workroom cooler. Thinking you’re getting a better product because you see it come directly out of the workroom is psychological. 

Depending on how busy the shop is, you may be able to walk in, order an arrangement, and wait while they make it (it might take 15 minutes or so). 

DIY crafters, you can buy floral supplies from flower shops. For higher quality supplies than what you’d find in a craft or discount store, talk to your local flower shop to see if they’ll sell you floral foam, floral tape, Davee tape, stem wire, boutonniere pins, wristlets, dried moss, etc. Another plus is that you may be able to buy exactly the amount you need (for example, five bout pins, as opposed to a 144-count box). 

Specific Flowers 

When one customer ordered roses, I asked what color he wanted, and he replied that he didn’t know roses came in anything besides red. Roses come in hundreds- if not thousands- of colors and color combinations [click here to see a small selection]. You don’t have to order just one color, either; you can ask for a mix. Another option is to say “Surprise me” (if you don’t care).

In the general public, people (or women, at least) seem to have a vague knowledge of the Victorian Language of Flowers when it comes to the colors of roses. If you look up what each color symbolizes, you might get different answers from different resources, but the bottom line is that yellow represents friendship, and red symbolizes passion and love. So, if someone reveals that they’re in love with you, and you decide to send them roses as a romantic gesture, you might want to specify “not yellow.” Otherwise, the recipient may interpret your gift to mean “We’re just friends.” (To avoid the complication and mixed messages, you could send something other than roses.)  

If you’re looking for a change from the classic red roses and baby’s breath, here are some of my favorite rose combos
-Yellow roses and sky blue asters  
-Peach roses and purple waxflowers (the “purple” is actually magenta) 
-Hot pink roses and lime green hypericum berries 
-Coral roses and dark purple stock  
-Ivory roses and an assortment of greens as filler 
[Carnations can be substituted for roses for a similar look.] 

Carnations have a reputation as an old-fashioned flower, maybe because they do not look like modern art, the way that lotus pods or fiddlehead fern curls do. But I’m a fan. Here’s what carnations have going for them:  
-They’re hardy. A designer accidentally left a carnation on the work table one night, and when I came in the next morning, the flower looked the same. Roses, on the other hand, wilt very quickly out of water.  
-They’re long-lasting (often last around two weeks in a vase) 
-They’re available in tons of colors and bicolors (check out this webpage for a sampling)  
-They smell good (faintly of cloves) 
-They’re affordable (a lot less expensive than roses)

For sympathy flowers, I recommend a potted peace lily. They are handsome, long-lived, and the plant produces graceful white flowers. An orchid plant is another refined option.  

African violet plants seem to blend a calm vibe with a whimsical vibe, making them appropriate for all kinds of occasions: Birthday, Mother’s Day, Thank You, Get Well, Housewarming, Thinking of You, and on and on.  

Arrangements comprised of only one type of flower can look very sophisticated, especially if they’re monochromatic. Try it with tulips, delphiniums, Oriental lilies, orchids, or calla lilies. Even country style flowers like daisies, sunflowers, and even baby’s breath (normally used as a filler flower) can look more upscale when spotlighted. 

Common long-lasting flowers found in the average flower shop include:  
-Alstroemeria (blooms look like tiny lilies)  
-Carnations 
-Orchids 
-Daisies (actually chrysanthemums in most cut flower shops)  
-Poms (also chrysanthemums, this time more button-shaped) 
-Statice (Usually used as a filler flower, it makes an exceptional dried flower- the stem will rot in the vase before the flower will fall off.) 
I’ve seen all of these routinely last two weeks. It’s not unusual for orchids to last a month in a vase. [You can also request that an arrangement be made with all long-lasting flowers.]  

Some common scented flowers available in flower shops are: 
-Stock (spicy sweet smell. One of my favorites. However, my dad mentioned that it reminds of funerals. What an unfortunate association for a lovely plant.) 
-Oriental lilies [Note: not the same as Asiatic lilies, which are unscented] (perfumey smell) 
-Roses (To me, they smell like raspberries. Be aware that many roses are bred for their color and shipping quality nowadays, leaving some varieties with hardly any scent.) 
-Freesia (A lot of people seem to like this scent. Some people describe it as fruity. I think it smells like the paste we used in kindergarten.)  
-Gardenias (smooth, slightly powdery smell. Good floating in a clear bowl for weddings or other special occasions.) 
-Peonies, hyacinths, daffodils, and lilacs (spring flowers, available seasonally. Peonies and hyacinths have rich, perfumey smells. Daffodils vary from sweet to perfumey. Lilacs have somewhat of a baby powder smell.)
-Waxflower (used as a filler, but I’m going to mention that they smell like pine trees) 

If you’re in the market for a wrist corsage, I’d recommend ordering one made with mini carnations instead of roses. When I worked in the shop, rose corsages, far and away the most popular type, started at $22.50. Lots of girls wanted special ribbons, glitter spray paint on their flowers, extra filler flowers, crystals, and other embellishments, and prices got pretty outlandish (50-something dollars). For a bracelet that lasts a few hours! I don’t know about you, but I can think of a lot of things I’d rather buy with 50-something dollars. As mentioned earlier, carnations last longer than roses out of water, they’re lighter weight (it’s going to be on your wrist all night), not as clunky-looking, and prices started at $9. If you love heady, perfumey scents, another option (not a budget option, though) is to go retro and special order a gardenia corsage.

Ordering Special Flowers 

The shop ordered flowers from our suppliers once a week, and sometimes added a smaller order mid-week if we got a big project or lots of special orders. To ensure specific flower types or specific colors, place your order at least 10 days in advance. As long as the shop’s supplier has it or can get it, ordering early guarantees that you’ll get what you want. Otherwise, you may call the day before your sister’s birthday to order a bouquet in orange, her favorite color, and be told that the shop doesn’t have anything orange in stock, and they won’t be getting another shipment for three days.  

Placing a generic order is a good idea, even if you know your flowers. Here’s one problem with getting too specific: for better or for worse, you’ll get what you ordered. If you ask for butter yellow roses, the bunch that comes (special ordered) from the supplier might have slightly wrinkly petals, browned outer petals, leaves with powdery mildew, or other issues. The shop will remove the disgusting parts, but the point is that while the flowers might be sellable, they’re not super healthy or as pretty as other flowers in the cooler. But since you asked for butter yellow roses, you’re getting butter yellow roses.  

Special message to control freaks: Please, let the designers do their jobs. Some customers would call and ask what we had in the cooler and then want to pick out the exact flowers for us to use in an arrangement. We can see the colors and styles of flowers available, and over the phone, you can’t. It is excruciating to try and describe the nuances of six different shades of pink while you try and design an arrangement in your head based on your interpretation of my descriptions. Never once did any of these people ask, “Which one do you think looks best with the dark purple larkspur?” They acted like they were Matisse and we were morons. Designers have a knack for art, color, and design- that’s how they got hired. Trust that they’ll put together something beautiful. [Note: If you’re near the flower shop, you can go in and look at the flowers in person. Be aware that this can be just as annoying to florists, though, to pull out every bucket in the cooler while you hem and haw over all the choices.] 

Flowers from Other Sources 

I’m sure this is blasphemous, but honestly, I didn’t notice an overall difference in the quality or longevity of flowers bought from the grocery store versus the flower shop. I never did a scientific study, but from observation, the quality from the flower shop was, at different times, better, comparable, and inferior to grocery store flowers. It differed depending on each specific bunch. 

If you buy from a discount store like Walmart or Sam’s Club, buy flowers as soon as they’re put out on the sales floor. Discount stores don’t usually hire a dedicated floral staff, so the flowers don’t get taken care of (water changed regularly, stems recut, buckets cleaned, dead flowers removed, etc.), so they wilt, turn brown, get moldy, and die faster, sometimes right there on display. Ask your local store when new shipments are available for customers, and get ahold of them as close to fresh as you can.  

Actually, that’s good advice in general. Whether you buy from a grocery store, flower shop, street vendor, or discount store, ask when fresh shipments are available for purchase and shop accordingly.  

For freshness, look for firm blooms. To test roses, gently pinch the bottom, bulbous part of the flower head. Ideally, it should feel like you’re pinching a golf ball. The more resistance, the better. If you pinch it and both sides squeeze together and the whole thing feels soft, I wouldn’t even bother buying it. (Or, just realize that it won’t last long.) 

Open blooms look impressive, but opt for more buds than blooms. This will give the recipient a longer time to enjoy the flowers.  

Whether they’re bought from a shop, grown in your yard, or sprung in a crack in the sidewalk, flowers are food for the soul. Share the feast!  

Welcome, 2019!

I was out to dinner with family recently. The pizza arrived at our table, extremely thin and smaller than any of us expected. My dad, having only eaten two slices, ordered dessert- an uncharacteristic move. “Somebody’s gotta be over the top,” he rationalized.  

Following in his steps, my theme for 2019 is Make It A Monumental Year. Make it The Best Year Ever.

Before starting on my big road trip, I thought, even if I don’t do anything else noteworthy, even if I hate my life afterward, at least I’ll have done something that I wanted to do, and I’ll have the memories. Now, after making one bold move, there’s no way I could settle for a milquetoast existence.  

I’ve lined up some adventures near the beginning of the year- sports like mountain biking that I’ve never tried and am a little afraid to try. Mainly, these activities are in place to provide a sense of accomplishment. Even if I’m horrible at it and hate everything about it, I participated in something I was curious about, and now I can check it off my list.  

More importantly, my hope and intention is to be more honest, to make inspirational choices and fearless decisions. In some cases, it’s enough to make a decision, period. Indecision leads to inaction, which leads to a waste of life. Lately, when I cannot decide, I leave the answer up to chance. I write all the options I can think of on little slips of paper, mix them up in a container, then pick one and stick with it. With an answer, any answer, I can move forward. [One slip of paper usually says “something else,” to leave room for a better option I didn’t think of. So far, I have never picked that wild card.]  

I’m not a fan of sharing goals in advance because I can’t trust myself to treat my personal ambitions as serious objectives. Instead of motivating me to work harder, I just end up feeling inadequate when I fail to reach the goals I broadcast. But I’m all about getting real this year, so I’ll tell you.  

I wanted to pick one measurable goal. I couldn’t decide. Should I write a song, record it, and post it on YouTube? Should I work toward making a living as a full time blogger? I wrote down all the options that grabbed my interest (plus ‘Something Else’) and blindly picked a slip of paper.

The answer said to write one poem a week. I felt deflated. Now, after having chosen it, it sounded so insignificant. I sat with my choice for a while, though, and realized that it will probably help incorporate writing into my lifestyle as more of a routine, no matter what else is going on. I think it will help me build an important foundation. Plus, even though writing poetry and song lyrics is agonizing, painfully slow work, and even though the results are usually abysmal, the process is ultimately more satisfying than writing prose. It’s more challenging, and I like being in the headspace of no limitations. I’ve missed it. There’s no expectation for the quality of results of this experiment- they could be trash. Guess what? You are going to get to read them!  

I figure the worst thing that can happen is I fall short of the goal and then I have to try making 2020 The Best Year Ever. That doesn’t sound so bad. 

Whatever your goal is for the new year, or whatever your lack of goals, I hope 2019 treats you well. And I hope you treat it well, too. 

The Best Part, Installment III

As far as traditional points of interest, rather than the big-name attractions, I’ve found the more enjoyable times to be at smaller museums and parks that I’d never heard of. (I prefer museums where you can take your time and actually see everything in an hour or two, rather than getting overwhelmed and exhausted in gargantuan collections.) Finding out about these places on my own may have added to my enjoyment; I didn’t have any expectations. (So, reading about them here may spoil the surprise for you. Sorry.) I’m not sure that I would recommend driving halfway across the country just to visit any of these destinations, but if you happen to be in the area, here are a few that stood out:  

A.E. Seaman Mineral Museum, Houghton, Michigan 

Fenimore Art Museum, Cooperstown, New York 

Museum of Women in the Arts, Washington, DC 

Fairbanks Museum & Planetarium, St, Johnsbury, Vermont- hands-on science exhibits, lots of taxidermy, plus a mix of natural and historical objects traditionally found in museums

Land Between the Lakes, Kentucky/Tennessee- There were about 5 different campgrounds dotting the length of the park. In addition to hiking trails, beaches, and typical campground activities, this park offers a driving loop where you can see bison and elk, a planetarium, a nature center, and an 1850s working farm.  

Elephant Rocks State Park, Missouri- gigantic rocks that you can climb all over and hike on. This would be a great place to bring kids!  

Women’s Rights National Historical Park & National Women’s Hall of Fame, Seneca Falls, New York (two separate museums)- inspiring stories of women who were pioneers, exceptional in their field, involved in public life, started organizations, started social movements, etc.

Anyone with kids should check out City Museum in St. Louis, Missouri- The entire place is a huge indoor/outdoor playground, creatively and artfully constructed. It’s also insanely crowded.  

Mille Lacs Indian Museum, Onamia, Minnesota- and next door is a gorgeous (albeit pricey) gift shop 

I’d also add the attractions along Route 90 in South Dakota, described in this previous post

The Best Part, Installment II

Other noteworthy moments on the road include everyday activities, but with a twist. For example: I love Indian food, and I followed directions from an online map to an Indian restaurant in Morgantown, West Virginia. When I arrived at the address, I found that the restaurant was located inside of a tiny airport for tiny airplanes- an unusual, unexpected detail. I walked into a thrift store in Forsyth, Missouri, to a woman playing the piano and singing. I forget how live music electrifies an atmosphere. There was a diner in Sevierville, Tennessee, with a jukebox loaded with songs from the 50s and 60s (aptly named “The Diner”). (Be still, my heart!) I camped at the State Fair Fairgrounds in DuQuoin, IL, on Easter. What an eerie feeling, being in this venue that was designed for crowds of tens of thousands of people, and it was empty. I heard the fun vintage song “Rag Mop” in a thrift store in Borrego Springs, California. (I’ve heard this on CD, but never over the loudspeaker of a store.) On a hike I took with my mom in the fall in Wisconsin, a hungry hummingbird landed on a fuchsia stripe on her T-shirt. Soon after arriving at an Indian restaurant in Salisbury, Maryland, the family at another table left, and I was the only one there. The waiter (who was also a cook) started talking to me while I was waiting for my food. He sat down at another table and ended up talking to me during my whole meal. (It didn’t feel creepy or uncomfortable- just something I had never experienced before.) I drove on the Musical Highway near Tijeras, New Mexico, a short section of rumble strips that plays a portion of the song ‘America the Beautiful’ as you drive over it. (It lasts about 30 seconds.) A police siren started a group of coyotes howling in Catalina State Park, Arizona. They matched their song to the melody of the siren! A tiny downtown park in Sweetwater, Tennessee, featured a winding river, a curved bridge, a variety of ducks, and a coin-operated duck food dispenser. Crossing the bridge, the path continued alongside the river to the main city park, then circled back to the ducks. In Roswell, New Mexico, I chased a kid around the mall for a few seconds. As I was walking down the hall, he’d run ahead a little, then stop and wait for me to catch up. When I got closer, he’d act like he was scared and take off again. So I started running after him. I would have played longer, but I wasn’t sure if his caretaker could tell I was only playing. 

One of my favorite days happened early on, in Tennessee. It was my third day at the same campsite, and I had already hiked the nearby trails and run errands in town. It was cold and raining, so I went for a drive on the backroads. This great oldies radio station came in, so I spent a few hours driving among green rolling hills, singing along with old songs. I also discovered a charming tiny town with Victorian-style architecture and an old-fashioned main street. That was what road tripping had been like years earlier, and what made me dream of expanding it into a more colossal adventure. 

The Best Part, Installment I

Halfway through the trip, I was asked, “What’s been the best part so far?”

If you had asked me to guess ahead of time, I would’ve expected my favorite part to be some attraction I’d visited, a specific area of the country, an important insight I’d had, or a new activity I’d tried.

My answer surprised me: “Visiting people.”

It probably doesn’t sound that shocking, but I’m pretty independent, introverted, and self-centered, so any answer involving other people wouldn’t be the first to occur to me.  

I’ve gotten together with friends, family, old coworkers, old family friends, and even my parents’ friends along the way. Some of these people I hadn’t seen in years. Plus, I got to meet friends of friends. If I had known ahead of time how much I’d value these visits, I would have planned a very different trip!

Anyway, I highly recommend getting together with a good friend you haven’t seen in a while. It’s worth it. 

Tangerine Dreams

Almost twenty years ago, my aunt in Florida got married. At the time, there were no chain hotels in her town- only small, independently owned motels. When my family convened to fly down, my mom informed us that my aunt had arranged motels for all the out-of-town guests.  
“Where are we staying?” my brother asked.  
“The Tangerine Inn,” my mom announced, enunciating each word.  
There was a moment of silence. “Sounds…classy,” my brother commented.  

For years- decades- afterward, I compared every hotel room I stayed in to the Tangerine Inn, and every other hotel room won. The room contained two beds, a TV, and a dead cockroach. That was it. To be fair, it was better than finding a live cockroach. I have minimalist tendencies, but this was beyond bare bones. There was no handle on the bathroom door- only a hole where the handle should have been. There was no towel rack or hook to hang a wet towel.  

One morning, after a shower, I discovered I was trapped in the bathroom. With no handle, I couldn’t get a good grip on the door, and there wasn’t enough room to get any leverage to pull it open. Luckily, even though everybody else was outside, my dad and brother heard me yelling for help and rescued me. I guess that’s the upside to paper-thin walls.  

After that visit to Florida, the first thing I’d do after arriving at any hotel room was flit around, opening doors and drawers, calling, “Look! There’s an iron and ironing board! There are hangers!  A coffee maker! Cups! A hair dryer! Kleenex! A miniature bottle of shampoo! A towel rack! A microwave! A refrigerator! A pad of paper! A pen! A chair! A desk! A phone book!” I was like a starving child who had stepped into Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Even though I don’t drink coffee or blow dry my hair or have a reason to iron clothes, what a rush to know that extras were included.  

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While visiting coworkers over Thanksgiving, a couple of them assumed, “You have to feel more confident” (after my recent travels). I don’t know about that, but I may have become more blasé.  

One side effect of the camping lifestyle is that I can tolerate the cheapest of motels. Overwhelmingly one-star ratings? No problem. So the security door guard is broken. Maybe it smells like cigarette smoke. There are hairs on the sheets. The bathroom isn’t exactly “clean.” Hey, I’ve showered with scorpions. (Good thing I was wearing flip-flops!) I’ve had to stuff my tent with water jugs and bins full of notebooks just so my tent wouldn’t blow away. I’ve showered in a bathroom that had no roof on it. (Thankfully, I did not see any drones or low-flying planes.) I’ve had sand rain down inside my tent all night long. And I realize that I was lucky to have a tent in the first place, plus any kind of shower and a modern bathroom, not to mention a car filled with items to satisfy practically every want and need.  

On nights when I was freezing or staying in run-down RV parks with makeshift tent sites, I probably would have welcomed a stay in any motel, even one with a missing door handle and a dead cockroach. After all these years, I think the Tangerine Inn has been redeemed. 

An Unlikely Story

For Thanksgiving, I visited my family in the Midwest. After the feast, my mom taught my brother & I a line dance (neither of us knew any line dances). Later, the three of us, along with my aunt, played a couple board games from the 80s that were designed for teenage girls: Slumber Party and Girl Talk. Slumber Party involves rolling 5 curlers into your hair, then adding or removing curlers as the game progresses. My brother followed the rules without complaining, while other people laughed at him. I remarked that he was a good sport to play along with us, and he reminded me that they were his games- he bought and owned them.  

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One of my pick-me-ups is reading stories about unlikely animal friends. There’s the dog who splashes in the surf every morning with the dolphin who swims out to play, the baby hippo who found solace in the 130-year-old tortoise, the pit bull who acts as father to broods of chicks each spring.  

Sometimes I’d be jealous while reading these stories, thinking how enriching it could be to be part of an unlikely friendship, two contrasting melody lines blending into an elegant harmony. A few weeks ago, I realized that my brother is an unlikely animal friend. We don’t have the same hobbies or hang out in the same circles. If we hadn’t been related, I probably never would have talked to him or gotten to know him. Here, I already had what I’d been wishing for- I just didn’t recognize it.

Think of the Possibilities

In southern Arizona, I passed a series of signs on the freeway alerting drivers about dust storms. Some instructed us on actions to take if a dust storm suddenly blew in. Some signs cautioned that “Dust Storms May Exist Next 10 Miles” or “Gusty Winds May Exist.” It made me think about what else may exist over the next 10-mile stretch of landscape: UFOs riding unicorns, a busload of hitchhiking clowns, a field of glow-in-the-dark cacti, ice skating dinosaurs, a stampede of breakfast cereals, a snake charmer convention, jump roping balloon animals…  

Other signs warned “Zero Visibility Possible.” Of course, that made me think about what else is possible: becoming a professional basketball player, taking a clear photo of Bigfoot, breaking the world record for scarfing down hot dogs, uncovering a buried treasure, opening a barber shop, making a scientific discovery, finding a long-lost relative, moving to Denmark, developing telekinetic powers, tightrope walking in the circus, traveling in space, swimming with dolphins, climbing to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro, singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl… 

Every now and then, I like to let my imagination dangle from the monkey bars, and I make a list of outlandish goals. Then the crux is to pick one of those activities to actually do. That’s how I eventually ended up on the road.